8:20: Whoops! The pilot just turned off the "No Singing Harlots" sign. It's Christina Aguilera, Maya, Lil' Kim and Pink doing their "Moulin Rouge" routine .... gee, I haven't seen this before. What, do they think we don't have MTV? Vooley voo koo shea a vek mee qua ... she qua. There aren't a lot of clothes going on right now. I feel dizzy. What's happening to our society? I'm never having a daughter.
9:15: Mmmmm ... the light-red Starburst ...
10:09: Here's the threesome of the night: Janet Jackson, Gloria Estefan and ... Matthew McConaughey. All right, all right, all right! McConaughey looks like he just crawled out of a smoke-filled van with Slater and Randy Pink Floyd. He also has the John Cusack Memorial "I have more hair right now than I did 10 years ago" thing going. Could somebody take off his clothes and give him some bongos?