Señor Grumblecakes (jervo) wrote,
Señor Grumblecakes

I'm not so geeky that I spend my evenings planning out the next day's LJ entries, but last night was a special case. You see, last night jdixon and I were watching "Raiders of the Lost Ark" for about the 500th time, and we started talking about when they'd ever get around to making Indiana 4. There's been rumors of an Indy 4 for about 10 years now, it seems, and according to this site it might actually happen, after Speilberg finishes the film he's doing with Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio.

But let's be honest here, folks. If there's gonna be an Indy 4, it's gotta be absolutely kickass. But let's also consider that Harrison Ford is around 70 years old. He can't do the things he used to - "it's not the years, honey, it's the mileage" - so obviously he's gotta pass the torch; also, since he's so old, the time that Indy 4 would have to be shot in would most certainly be post-WW2 - hence, no Nazis. Finally, what artifact could possibly top the Holy Grail, in terms of... you know... amazingness?

We decided that if Harrison Ford's gotta pass the torch - which we're pretty sure he's gonna have to - then it's gotta be Owen Wilson that inherits the mantle. Owen's got the charm, the humor, the physique, and could probably look good with some 5:00 shadow. As for a relic, well, we're thinking it should be something that exists outside of the major religions - perhaps something Aztec-ian. As long as it doesn't involve UFOs.


And now, the debate.

Who's more badass?

Indiana Jones
Han Solo

Indiana Jones: world-reknowned archaeologist.
Han Solo: lowly mercenary.

IJ: bullwhip.
HS: laser blaster.

IJ: girlfriends include a boozehound and a campy starlet wannabe.
HS: eventually shacks up with the frikkin' Princess.

IJ: defeats endless hordes of Nazis and only fires one bullet.
HS: better weaponry than IJ, but also had Chewie.

IJ: gets brainwashed by voodoo juice
HS: gets frozen in carbonite

IJ: can't fly planes
HS: owns the Millenium Falcon

Ultimately, I think I gotta give my vote to Indiana Jones. The man was craftier, smarter, and kicked a lot more ass against worse odds.
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