Señor Grumblecakes (jervo) wrote,
Señor Grumblecakes
jervo

Brought to you by Big Wicker Ventriloquist

More McSweeney's brilliance.

A L L T H E P R E S I D E N T ' S
W U - T A N G C L A N .

BY HOLLY BAILEY

- - - -

[Wu-Tang Clan Nicknames for President Bush, his Cabinet and advisers were generated by the Discover Your Wu-Name Website, available here.]

- - - -

President George W. Bush = Bastard, BASTARD HarbourMastah

Vice President Dick Cheney = Top-Heavy Hookjaw

Secretary of State Colin Powell = Superintendent God-Botherer

Attorney General John Ashcroft = Tha Visible Choirboy

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld = Crafty Barnardo

Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham = Womanly Panther

Agriculture Secretary Ann Veneman = Tha 23rd Buchan

Commerce Secretary Don Evans = Well-Liked Assman

Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson = Tha Ever So Weary Assistant

Interior Secretary Gale Norton = Bilious Bad Janitah

Labor Secretary Elaine Chao = Masta Cow

Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta = Violent Toilet Thing

Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill = Flippant She-Creature

White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card = Inscrutable Drama Queen

National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice = Promiscuous Protestah

CIA Director George Tenet = Curly-Haired Slacker

White House Senior Adviser Karl Rove = Excitable Misunderstood Genius

Press Secretary Ari Fleischer = Action-Packed Mental
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