"I want to speak to the first person who had the nerve to try oysters. Are you kidding me with that stuff, or what? And also, if lobster and shrimp are as good as people say, then why are they always dunking it in some type of sauce or butter? If it tasted as good as people said, then just eat it without smothering it with another type of taste. I'm just trying to make this a full-service column, what can I say?"
The rest of his column can be read here.