March 14th, 2001

full life

(no subject)

Mornin'. I'm contemplating whether or not my stomach is bad enough to try to get me out of work, even though I'm already here. There are some mornings when it [my stomach]'s relatively ok, and then there are some where it feels like basic training exercises with bayonets in there. Today is sort of in the middle.

So. Anyway. Not to pussyfoot or anything, but I'm a bit anxious as to how to start this whole thing off. Which is not to say I've never kept a diary before - I've had one since '93, and I've always had these delusions of grandeur wherein I felt like after I died, people would want to read my diary, like when Andy Warhol's diary was published. Or whatever. One thing you will learn about me pretty quickly, I have a quasi-"Truman Show" complex, except I wish that was my life. More on that later.

***smoke break***

Some disclaimers:

(1) Since I currently do not have a computer at home, I'll be writing these at work. Which might make them somewhat bitter when they start out. Or not. I was actually pretty psyched today when I got up, knowing that this diary-writing option was finally available. Plus, it looks like I'm being productive.

(2) Putting a diary online seems like a pretty narcissistic exercise, and you know what? It totally is. It's one thing to keep a diary, where you pour your hear and soul onto a private notebook; it's another thing to keep a diary where the whole point is so that other people can read it and judge it, etc., so you end up editing while you write and hope that when it's done people will think it's the most amazing thing and they'll think that you are the most incredible person in the world. (Well, maybe not to that extent, but...) The point is, it's meant for other people to read and form opinions about. These private musings become public domain. To this I say: well, why the hell not?

(3) There may be some mentions of a "disc theory" in this journal. The disc theory, in short, is this sort-of philosophy that a friend of mine and I came up with several years ago, which is a combination of fate and freewill and why certain things happen and why you meet certain people and claims to explain how everything works. At some point I'll put a really definitive version online somewhere, if I can ever get in touch with the person that made it up with me.

The first such mention of disc theory will be: if it wasn't for KatieSP, I'd probably have never found this site, which allows me to do this online journal in spite of my wack-ass HTML skills. Katie, thank you.

OK. Gotta do some work now. More later.
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