August 9th, 2001

full life

(no subject)

Wow. So tonight's the night. Had a surprisingly good rehearsal last night, which isn't necessarily a good sign, but at least I fixed some stuff that desperately needed fixing. I spoke to my friend who booked the show, and it turns out that I'm the only act, which means that I can start whenever I want. (He also implied that he wouldn't be showing up, which... I have no comment about.) As I may have said before, I have both sets of parents and their significant others coming tonight, PLUS my younger brother, PLUS my older step-brother (who is sort-of estranged from my step-father), plus maybe a cousin. Waaaay too many family members. I'm both calm and freaked out.

Speaking of being freaked out, something wierd happened on the subway this morning. The 7 train rolled up this morning with no lights on inside the cars. This isn't really that big a deal, since the 7 is above ground when it's in Queens. But it got wierd once we started going underground, because the conductor hadn't turned the lights on, and it got DARK. And the sensation of hurtling along in a packed car with minimal AC on one of the old "Redbirds" (which are the oldest subway cars in the system and have a less-than-great safety record) in utter darkness underground was fucking crazy. You could hear the growing panic in the mid-train engineer's voice ("Turn on the lights, partner.... TURN ON THE LIGHTS, PARTNER..."). When the lights finally did come on, everybody looked spooked.

Crazy adrenaline coursing through my veins today. I haven't been this jazzed up for a gig in a long time.

Speaking of which, if you'd like to come, here's the info, and a shabbily written mini-biography:

The Jervo Experience
August 9, 2001
Orchard Grill
196 Orchard Street between Houston and Stanton
no cover

THE JERVO EXPERIENCE is actually the solo moniker for 25-year-old Jeremy Voss, a veteran of the NYC rock scene who has sung and played lead guitar for numerous bands including Boat, Wanna, One&Twenty, Midnight Thompson, and The Ferns. TJE, however, is a totally different beast, utilizing a unique "one-man-band" approach and incorporating diverse musical elements to conjure atmospheric improvisations and haunting melodies. This debut performance will premiere at least 4 never-before-heard songs, as well as some classic Voss tunes.
full life

not-quite-last minute jitters

Tummy = rumbly. I ate the most taste-less tuna sandwich I've ever eaten for lunch, and so now I'm uneasy about my stomach.

I'm also got my standard pre-perfomance jitters, but what's interesting to me is that I think they (the jitters) are mostly because my entire fucking family is going to be there. I'm not sure why that bothers me so much. My parents are in denial about my mid-college decision to quit acting and pursue music (even though they're both musicians), and combined they've seen me maybe 5 times in a "rock" format over the last 8 years.

That really doesn't bother me, though; I mean, honestly, my parents are hard-core classical musicians and don't really care about rock and roll. I've played shows that I've specifically asked them NOT to see. I guess that's my denial, that I don't want them to see me playing "inferior" music.* Or something. I suppose there's some issues with approval at work, here. After all, I've hyped this show to them as my first real step towards actualizing my creative vision, and if they don't like it, well, they're not going to take it seriously, and if they're not going to take it seriously, I suppose I'll start getting the "You know, you should probably think about getting a real job" conversation, which - the more I think about it - scares me more than anything else. I guess that's the key issue here. I don't really care if anybody else likes it or not, but I really need them to like it, so they'll continue to not yell at me for "wasting my life with this rock and roll foolishness"**.

Anyway, they're coming, and there's nothing I can do about it except to take some antacids and to make sure that my equipment works.

* And so of course I've spent most of today wishing that my songs were more complex; however, due to my technological limitations, I made a deliberate decision to work in a quasi-repetitive format, so that I could create tension with dynamics and textures as opposed to chord progressions. This is all just last-minute second-guessing, and it's par for the course... but in light of the whole parents-in-attendance thing, especially since getting them in the same room is a monumental task, it seems to carry a certain resonance.

** Believe it or not, that's an actual quote from my grandmother.