March 25th, 2002

full life

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Highlights of the Oscars:

1. Woody Allen.
2. Owen Wilson/Ben Stiller.
3. Cirque du Soleil.

Lowlights of the Oscars:

Pretty much everything else. Nothing for Amelie, Memento, Tenenbaums. LOTR got crapped on. I know I saw some really great movies last year, but none of them seemed to be represented at the Oscars. The whole thing pretty much sucked ass.
full life

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Whew. Hard part is over - took my Word proficiency test, my typing test, and basic clerical skills test. I'm pretty sure I kicked those tests' asses. Coming up: an interview with my supervisor, tomorrow at 1:30pm. Goddamn. Please let me get this job.
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full life

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From a pretty funny and interesting Salon article about the Oscars:


I must warn the world about Tom Cruise. I feel he is an utterly terrifying Superior Life Form, with the power to melt heads and braid spines. His eyes are as hard, shiny and brutally penetrating as diamond drill-bits. The new braces on his teeth suggest that he is erasing all that remained of his tiny imperfections, and he is now metamorphosing into Ultra Super Perfection Man 3000. I fear his intense, mind-beating politeness, his titanium imperviousness to human weakness, his barking power-laugh.

"Movies make a little bit of magic touch our lives," he commanded us to acknowledge, with steely resolve and Mach-5 mega-humorlessness.

People in the audience started laughing, until they realized that Tom was Not Being Funny At All. He was chosen to frankly address the post-Sept. 11 whither-the-Oscars conundrum head-on. "Should we celebrate the magic the movies bring? Now?" Tom asked, his eyes boring into the eyes of the TV multitudes and implanting rays of total domination. "Dare I say it?" He flashed a smirk with his robotically flawless teeth. "More than EVER," he hissed, laying on his most Extreme Scientological Unction. He had been commanded by the Elders to Obi-Wan-Kenobi-ize the audience into rebelieving in the importance of the obscenely superfluous Oscars. Tom Cruise is becoming the Scary Flaming Eye from "The Lord of the Rings," and I fear that nobody can stop him.