May 17th, 2004

full life

(no subject)

Jon Stewart's commencement address for William & Mary.

Lets talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier, and I…I wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world, and this is I guess as good a time as any. I don’t really know to put this, so I’ll be blunt. We broke it.

Please don’t be mad. I know we were supposed to bequeath to the next generation a world better than the one we were handed. So, sorry.

I don’t know if you’ve been following the news lately, but it just kinda got away from us. Somewhere between the gold rush of easy internet profits and an arrogant sense of endless empire, we heard kind of a pinging noise, and uh, then the damn thing just died on us. So I apologize.

But here’s the good news. You fix this thing, you’re the next greatest generation, people. You do this—and I believe you can—you win this war on terror, and Tom Brokaw’s kissing your ass from here to Tikrit, let me tell ya. And even if you don’t, you’re not gonna have much trouble surpassing my generation. If you end up getting your picture taken next to a naked guy pile of enemy prisoners and don’t give the thumbs up you’ve outdid us.

We declared war on terror. We declared war on terror—it’s not even a noun, so, good luck. After we defeat it, I’m sure we’ll take on that bastard ennui.

But obviously that’s the world. What about your lives? What piece of wisdom can I impart to you about my journey that will somehow ease your transition from college back to your parent’s basement?
full life

(no subject)

Another reason to feverishly anticipate Ocean's Twelve would be that the newest cast member is Eddie Izzard.

I'm still recovering from this weekend. My entire body aches. I got home from Friday's festivities at 4:00 in the morning; I got back from Saturday's debauchery at 7:00am. There are some crazy stories from this weekend, but none of them can top spending Saturday afternoon at Coney Island with 4 great friends as well as a psychotic Australian bare-knuckle boxer named Asa, who for reasons unknown invited himself along with us and would not leave. Think of Brad Pitt's character in Snatch, but without the charm. Here's an actual quote of his, when asked about his boxing career: "Fighting a man is shit. Once you've fought a 'roo, fighting a man is shit. Fucking wankers." He might have fed us a lot of bullshit, but I truly believe that he actually has punched a kangaroo. I still have a bruise from where he jabbed a mag-lite flashlight into my armpit. Good times, good times.