I took yesterday off partly because I was sick, but mostly because UPS was supposed to deliver our Gazelle yesterday. Of course, UPS never showed up. I spoke to a dispatcher at 5:00pm who told me that there was still a possibility that it could show up before 8:30pm. When it failed to arrive, she said "Oh, well, I guess it wasn't on the truck."
So I'm dedicating my spare time today to come up with alternate slogans for UPS. You are invited to join in.
Unbelievably Poor Service Undulating Poo Shards Uganda's Priceless Shampoo Under Pedro's Scrotum Uh, Pretty Stoned