(no subject)
Well, it seems that my mother's mysterious fever has a cause after all. The doctors are about 90% sure she has lymphoma, although they need to perform a chest biopsy to make absolutely certain. The good news is that it's treatable. The bad news is that I don't know if she believes that. We talked last night a bit; she had had a conversation with a friend about living wills, and I told her that she can't be thinking about death. This all took place, of course, before we found out what was wrong with her.
Anyway, we're all miserable now, even though we're trying to stay strong. I love my mother. I feel terribly guilty that I never visited her enough when she was having her kidney transplant, and with Kath's foot surgery I haven't been able to visit her at all during this current episode. I'm not blaming Kath, of course - she's my wife, she's in a great deal of pain herself and I need to take care of her. I'm just really nervous and anxious and about 3000 other uncomfortable emotions right now.
Anyway, we're all miserable now, even though we're trying to stay strong. I love my mother. I feel terribly guilty that I never visited her enough when she was having her kidney transplant, and with Kath's foot surgery I haven't been able to visit her at all during this current episode. I'm not blaming Kath, of course - she's my wife, she's in a great deal of pain herself and I need to take care of her. I'm just really nervous and anxious and about 3000 other uncomfortable emotions right now.
Who knows, some of that positivity might rub off on your mom. I know it was a similar situation in the months after my mom had open-heart surgery; she really needed to know there were people around her who cared.
I just feel, terrible, you know? My mom's had one bad break after another for 20 years, and I can only imagine how frustrated and upset she must be.
The U.S. National Institutes of Health, through its National Library of Medicine, has developed ClinicalTrials.gov to provide current information about clinical research studies for patients, family members, and members of the public. You can contact this service on the Internet at http://www.ClinicalTrials.gov or you can obtain information over the telephone by calling 1-888-346-3656 or (301) 594-5983.
BTW, it IS a really good idea to think about advance directives, especially if you are going to be going into surgery or something like that. Even if you don't use it (a health care power of attorney is better for legal reasons than a living will because it appoints someone to make your health care decisions for you IF you are unable to make them for yourself for some reason), it's good to have - don't want to end up in a situation where your mom would be kept alive too long when she wouldn't have wanted to be, etc. NOT that that is what is going to happen now, AT ALL, but it's a good idea to do a health care power of attorney now (you and Kath should really have them, too - have a good conversation about what you would want if you were in various states of bad health with various levels of prognosis, etc.).
Good luck to you all. This is tough stuff.