full life

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Well, it seems that my mother's mysterious fever has a cause after all. The doctors are about 90% sure she has lymphoma, although they need to perform a chest biopsy to make absolutely certain. The good news is that it's treatable. The bad news is that I don't know if she believes that. We talked last night a bit; she had had a conversation with a friend about living wills, and I told her that she can't be thinking about death. This all took place, of course, before we found out what was wrong with her.

Anyway, we're all miserable now, even though we're trying to stay strong. I love my mother. I feel terribly guilty that I never visited her enough when she was having her kidney transplant, and with Kath's foot surgery I haven't been able to visit her at all during this current episode. I'm not blaming Kath, of course - she's my wife, she's in a great deal of pain herself and I need to take care of her. I'm just really nervous and anxious and about 3000 other uncomfortable emotions right now.
Oh, jeez, man. Hang in there. Stay positive; it's really important in situations like this. You've got Kath to help you and we're all here thinking about you.

Who knows, some of that positivity might rub off on your mom. I know it was a similar situation in the months after my mom had open-heart surgery; she really needed to know there were people around her who cared.
Much appreciated, good sir.

I just feel, terrible, you know? My mom's had one bad break after another for 20 years, and I can only imagine how frustrated and upset she must be.
Shit bruh, I hope everything works out. If you want a success story, my uncle had full-on lymphoma about ten-plus years ago; he got the treatment made a full recovery. It takes time, but it is definitely one of the treatables.
That is good to hear - in fact, when Paul was talking with her doctor about it, the doc pulled over another doc who happened to mention that he himself had lymphoma 14 years ago and made a full recovery. Hopefully this has been discovered early enough that it can be beaten 100%.
And the doc and my uncle were both double-digit years ago; one can only hope that there has been progress in treatment as well in that time. Please pass on my best wishes and let me know if there is anything I can do. Though i'm not sure what I could do. Perhaps an anti-lymphoma jig.
there's progress made consistently-- especially in clinical trials. from http://www.webmd.com:

The U.S. National Institutes of Health, through its National Library of Medicine, has developed ClinicalTrials.gov to provide current information about clinical research studies for patients, family members, and members of the public. You can contact this service on the Internet at http://www.ClinicalTrials.gov or you can obtain information over the telephone by calling 1-888-346-3656 or (301) 594-5983.

wow... jervo, man-- i don't know what to say except i'm sorry. you should, however, clear your head of at least one of those 3000 uncomfortable emotions-- the guilt. really, it does no one any good. and for yourself and your mom and your fam you need to stay positive. obviously, without the biopsy no one knows what stage it is-- it might be very treatable. and it's waaaaay to early for discussions about a living will. depending on the stage, the treatment, and the success of the treatment, she could have a good many years-- and i will pray that she does. in the meantime, you should go see her. if you want some help figuring that out with needing to take care of kath, let me know. i'm sure your friends could help you out.
Thanks man. As it happens, my cousin is getting married up there next weekend, so I'll definitely be up in her neck of the woods then. I'm just wondering if it's feasible to go up there now; my stepdad is also trying to figure that out. Kath and I will figure out what to do about next weekend - she might just have her Mega-Sleep-Over 2004 then, while I'm gone.
Sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you.
OH my goodness. Lots of stress. Sorry. :(

BTW, it IS a really good idea to think about advance directives, especially if you are going to be going into surgery or something like that. Even if you don't use it (a health care power of attorney is better for legal reasons than a living will because it appoints someone to make your health care decisions for you IF you are unable to make them for yourself for some reason), it's good to have - don't want to end up in a situation where your mom would be kept alive too long when she wouldn't have wanted to be, etc. NOT that that is what is going to happen now, AT ALL, but it's a good idea to do a health care power of attorney now (you and Kath should really have them, too - have a good conversation about what you would want if you were in various states of bad health with various levels of prognosis, etc.).

Good luck to you all. This is tough stuff.
You're right, w/r/t advance directives; I just didn't want my mom going about her current situation thinking that the end was nigh. It still isn't, anyway - lymphoma is very treatable and, assuming they caught it early enough, curable. Still, it's got the whole family all sorts of stressed out. Plus Kath. GAH.
Yeah, that sucks. I think it's a natural reaction for a lot of people to think the worst. But it sounds like things will work out... Good luck!!!