2. I had my physical this morning. It'll go behind a cut, but before I begin, I'm reminded of one of my favorite exchanges from one of my favorite movies, "The Usual Suspects":
Fenster: Man, I had a finger up my asshole tonight.
Hockney: Is it Friday already?
This doctor visit was much better than the last one. For one thing, the first magazine on the coffee table that caught my eye was "DIGESTION" (cover model - Cybil Shepard), and it was kinda funny reading it - every page featured at least one "Hey, that's just like me!" moment, which got me a bit more relaxed. They took lots of blood, so lots of things will get checked out. As we were talking about my recent back problems/constipation, I pulled out a piece of paper which I had written some questions on - he joked, "So, what did the internet tell you you have?" I mentioned some of the stuff that you guys had mentioned - parasites, celiac disease, gluten allergies, diverticulitis - and he was planning on testing for all of that stuff. He FINALLY showed me that he understood that this was a problem that wasn't going away. IBS may be triggered by anxiety, but it's certainly not "all in your mind", and once it's diagnosed, it can be treated. The upshot of this is that I'm having a colonoscopy in March. Also, I've gotta poop in a cup, so I'm hopeful that my constipation will let up enough for that to happen. I'm a little nervous about the colonoscopy - not for the procedure itself, but for the whole "going under" part - I've never gone under, not even for my wisdom teeth, and for whatever reason I've had many nightmares about going under and never waking up. However, I'm a lot more interested in figuring out what's wrong with me, so I'm going to fucking deal with it.
In any event, I'm just grateful that action is being taken. I'm on the service road approaching the road to Wellville, dammit.
