But let me just say, for the record, that my boss is a cockhead.
You see, the only reason why I took this particular temping job in the first place is because my agency was offering a substantial rate increase. I've already worked here for 6 months, off and on, and I hate it - it's corporate, it's an hour by subway, and it sucks throbbing cock. And I told my agency that, except not as nicely. But when they called me and essentially begged me to accept it, that I was the only one who could do it, I gave in because I needed the money.
Of course, I asked why the rate increase was so substantial.
The voice on the other end said, in hushed tones, "Well, you see, the main partner that you'd be working for, he's... well... he's apparently a humongous asshole and he hates everybody."
YES!!! Thank GOD such an opportunity has been given to me! I can't wait!
Well, I go in, and I meet the guy, and yeah, he's a little uptight, but it's nothing I can't handle. I'm a badass when it comes to administrative assistant work. (I taught Herbert Kornfeld everything he knows.) But there's one thing about him that abso-fucking-lutely drives me insane - his handwriting. He has the smallest, most unintelligible handwriting in the entire world. It's literally 3-point scribbling. I wish I could scan some of it and show you all, because there's really no way to describe it. And you can imagine how difficult it is to interpret his doodling and turn it into a fully bulleted Word document. [By the way - Microsoft Word has to be the most stupidly programmed application ever invented. Fuck you, Microsoft. I hate you and your fucking stupid bullet points.]
If you could only imagine the look on this bastard's face when I have to trudge into his office and ask him to read his own handwriting. This guy must make... I don't know how much he makes, but I do his expenses, and it's routine for him to drop upwards of $10,000 in 2 motherfucking weeks. You'd think that for a guy to make that kind of money, he'd have to be reasonably intelligent. And for him to prove he's reasonably intelligent, he'd probably have to take some tests or write some essays. Lemme tell you, this guy is damn lucky he was born during the advent of computers and word processors because if I was his teacher and he handed me an handwritten essay I'd think he was retarded.
Plus I didn't get a lunch break today, and the only things I've eaten today are a granola bar, 2 cups of coffee, half a gatorade, a snack-sized package of baby carrots, and some ice cream cake from a birthday party on some other floor. Trying to describe what's happening in my stomach... is something I'd prefer not to do.