We interrupt this blog to bring you breaking news...
New York has no national monuments or icons, according to the Department of Homeland Security form obtained by ABC News. That was a key factor used to determine that New York City should have its anti-terror funds slashed by 40 percent---from $207.5 million in 2005 to $124.4 million in 2006.
The formula did not consider as landmarks or icons: The Empire State Building, The United Nations, The Statue of Liberty and others found on several terror target hit lists. It also left off notable landmarks, such as the New York Public Library, Times Square, City Hall and at least three of the nation's most renowned museums: The Guggenheim, The Metropolitan and The Museum of Natural History.
Sorry, New York. The goal of the Department of Homeland Security is to protect our real national icons. Following is a partial roster of landmarks on the evildoers' hit list that need our full attention...and the amount allocated to protect them according to the latest DHS "Freedom Budget:"
Alexandria, Indiana: The World's Largest Ball of Paint ($12 million)
Niland, California: Salvation Mountain ($16 million)
Alamo Heights, Texas: Barney Smith's Toilet Seat Art Museum ($10 million)
Dedham, Massachusetts: The Museum of Bad Art ($31 million)
Key West, Florida: The Chicken Store ($7.5 million)
Alliance, Nebraska: Carhenge ($25 million)
And Soap Lake, Washington: The Giant Lava Lamp ($143 million)
Thank you, Secretary Chertoff, for seeing through the elitist city-slicker spin, and allocating America's resources where they'll protect our heritage. Nay...our legacy.
You sure you still want to have your next GOP convention here, you fucking assholes?