Oh, and I got this from McSweeney's:
LINES OF "STAR WARS" DIALOGUE IF OBI-WAN KENOBI HAD BEEN REALLY, REALLY DEPRESSED.
BY GREG KNAUSS
- - - -
"For more than a thousand generations the Jedi were the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy. Before the dark times. Before the Empire. Before she decided she needed to 'find' herself. Before I wasn't good enough. Bitch."
"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. And don't I know what that's like."
"The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the gala� Oh, it's all horseshit. God."
"If you strike me down, I shall become more grateful than you can possibly imagine."
"Remember, the Force will be with you, always. Except when you really need it, when a little encouragement would do you some good, just a little 'Atta boy,' just a little gratitude. But no. Fine."