Part of that is because I got stuck watching the Oscars - at least the very end of it, because I needed to know that Martin Scorcese finally won. Not that winning an Oscar means anything, of course - it's not like a Superbowl ring or a World Series trophy, and it's not like Scorcese will NOW finally get to enter the movie hall of fame because he "won" in the clutch - but, I mean, the man is a legend and for whatever its worth it was nice to see him finally get his due. That said, his award was announced at a ridiculous hour, and I didn't get enough sleep.
Not like this is brain surgery, but there's a few simple ways to make the show shorter and better.
1. Enough with the unnecessary montages. The phrase "unnecessary montage" is redunant in and of itself. There are only 2 acceptable montages, if that: a year in review, and the death montage. End of story.
2. Enough with the shadow puppetry and other contrived nonsense. This is a FILM AWARDS show; leave the musical theater business to New York, where people actually know what the fuck they're doing and it's not completely embarassing to watch.
3. Enough with making "Best Song" a focal point for the show's energies, especially if you're only giving award winners 30 seconds to make their "thank you" speeches. Do people actually care what the "best song" is, especially since 99% of every best song nominee for the last 30 years has been either (a) a sappy, obvious, forgettable ballad, (b) written by Randy Newman, or (c) both? I've watched the Oscars on and off for however many years I've been allowed to stay up that late and I only remember 3 or 4 songs that were even nominated (and, for what it's worth, they all lost: Elliot Smith's performance sandwiched between Celine Dion and Whitney Houston (I think).... Robin Williams performing "Blame Canada"... the boys from A Mighty Wind). Oh, and Eminem. But whatever. The point is, "Best Song" gets FAR too much attention.
That right there trims off at least 90 minutes.
Back to work, and sneezing.