jervo

It's COLD outside. Our cafeteria had nothing to offer, so I ran out to get something to eat without going back up to my desk to get my jacket, and now I am freezing.

1. There's a Dunkin Donuts around the corner from my office. Right now there's a huge banner over the front door, featuring a large iced coffee and one word: "AUTHENTIC." Is that a concern, these days? Are you worried that your iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts is somehow not real?

2. I was in the Subway right next to that same Dunkin the other day, and a guy in front of me ordered a sandwich that very nearly turned me off to the idea of eating food ever again. To wit:

• foot long, Italian Herbs and Cheese bread


• Philly Cheese Steak (steak slices, swiss cheese)

So far, so good. BUT THEN:

• on the other side of the bread, TUNA


• then it gets toasted


• THEN he puts lettuce


• tomato


• mayonnaise


• OIL AND VINEGAR

As far as I know, this man was neither pregnant nor high, so this was a sandwich that he actually wanted to eat of his own volition. As for me, I very calmly walked out of the Subway and then ran screaming towards my office.