I installed Velvet when I got home, and after all is said and done, it's everything I wanted it to be; it sounds exactly like a Fender Rhodes, and what's cool is that my MIDI keyboard now feels like a Rhodes, too. So this is good.
The problem is: my computer can't hack it. I set up a new session and recorded 3 minutes of Rhodes improv, and then tried to put some BFD (MIDI) drums on top, and that was it - no other effects, no other instruments, no nothin' - and ProTools (and my computer, in general) just ground to a halt. I'm not exactly sure what the problem is, although I suspect that my USB cables and hubs just aren't fast enough for all the bandwidth - the drums have always given me problems, but Velvet is just as sensitive, if not more so.
So, yeah. All my songwriting will have to wait a bit longer until I can get this problem fixed, and it is indeed a big fucking problem.
That said, if you need some Fender Rhodes for your recordings and you can't buy the real thing, I can't recommend this program enough; it is astounding.
Unrelated - I know I said I was going to cut down on my impulse music shopping this year, but: Other Music just sent out their digital download recommendations of the week, and they have this Heron compilation at a way-below-iTunes price that I just couldn't pass up. If you like 1970's British folk music, you absolutely must check it out.